Consolation Prize

I’ve been giving Mario Kart Wii a bit of a shakedown over the weekend and I had forgotten just how much of a love / hate relationship it is.

For such a cute looking game it somehow manages to bring out the worst in me. I’ve never known a game that can be both so addictive but yet elicit so many venomous comments and curses to be thrown at the screen. This kind of reaction is not even contained to myself, but to others as-well, and over the years I’ve witnessed many a friend curse Mario, Donkey Kong, Toad, et al, with offensive language that would make a builder blush in embarrassment.

We’ve heard of “Road Rage”, but what about “Spiny Blue Shell Rage”? Admittedly it doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as easily, but for me it generates the same sort of feelings.

Picture the scene: It’s the last race of the Special Cup, the dreaded Rainbow Road track. I’m in first place in the standings and I just need to finish ahead of my rivals to secure that coveted gold trophy. The first two laps go well, the midfield are squabbling amongst themselves enabling me to get some clear air between myself and second place. The last lap however is where all hell breaks loose. Not only do I get hit by a spiny shell (which only targets the first place player for those not in the know) but it is followed up by a red shell, another spiny shell, and finally just to rub salt into the wounds I’m rammed off the track by Wario. First place dwindles to twelfth in a matter of seconds and with it all hope of winning the championship as my nearest rival finishes first.

The abuse (censored for delicate eyes) that goes along with this pretty picture goes something like:

QD: WTF???

Donkey Kong: Grunts in victory as the spiny shell hits.

QD: I hope you rot in hell DK.

QD: OMG! WTF was that?

Toad: Laughs as he drives past.

QD: Toad you B@£$#&* son of a B*&%$!

QD: WTF? WTF? W…T…F? You’ve got to be kidding me! That’s just taking the F#@%^&* P%$$.

Wario: Waaaahhh aha haaaa…

QD: Turns off Wii in disgust after placing a dismal 12th place.

And so this kind of abuse is hurled at some stage of, or constantly throughout, every race. However, I always go back for more. The rubber band AI and elements of luck always ensure that it’s a close race and even though it feels like you’re hard done too at times the feeling of satisfaction when you win a race, or take out one of your hated characters (Toad, you mushroom headed freak, I’m looking at you!) with a red shell or well placed banana skin is second to none.

This feeling of blatant cheating employed by the AI players could easily break the game if it wasn’t handled correctly but somehow Nintendo manage to find a balance and pull it off with a game that is thoroughly compelling, albeit sometimes frustrating.

Anyway, I’ve some 150cc races to complete and vengeance to dish out!